The Thick Trevithicks

Griffith, Gareth, Gwyneth with Mrs Thelma and Mr Thaddeus Trevithick

By Mark Pierro

Today marks the 100th anniversary of the end of the trial known as The Trevithick Three.

The Trevithick Three were members of an infamous family of bank robbers who terrorised The North of England at the turn of the 20th Century. With a combined weight of 3433 lbs they were included in the Guinness book of records as the heaviest bank robbers of all time. Although all  five of the family participated in the raid only three of them were caught and tried.

The case against the father and mother, Thaddeus Trevithick and Thelma Trescothick from Thetford in Norfolk, where thrown out half way through the trial as it became clear to the presiding judge Mr Justice Thoroughgood, that they were quite possibly the most stupid parents he had ever encountered in his 35 year career and ordered them to attend a local infants school as pupils.

Arthur Crimmidge of the 'Stupid-Bastard-Not-Wearing-An-Invisible-Cloak Incident'

by Mark Pierro

Arthur Crimmidge Not Wearing Invisibility Cloak (right)

Wonderful news today due to the discovery of the only known photograph of Mr Arthur Crimmidge of 74 Toxteth Street, Abinger, East Berkshire. (Above Right) The photograph was found by Mrs N. Wheatley of East Retford in the United Kingdom.

Crimmidge was best known for the 1917 'Stupid-Bastard-not-wearing-an-invisible cloak incident' in which he, having received an invisible cloak, went on a thieving spree in and around the village of Bagshot, robbing shops, banks, the butcher and his Auntie Margaret's window cleaning van that she had left outside the very first Dimplex Wall Heater warehouse.

The Dairy of Mr Frank Anne:

By Desmond Gin-Sodden

Frank Anne in front of a Front Door

Today marks the 32nd anniversary of the freedom of Mr Frank Anne in 1981. 

Frank Anne was the first of his kind in the 1930s as a New Age Dairy Consultant. Not withstanding the fact that nobody had even heard of the expression 'New Age' at that time, Frank Anne proceeded to establish his own dairy in Bedrijventerrein an almost unpronounceable district of Amsterdam. 

The dairy met with mixed results partly because nobody knew what a New Age dairy did, partly because only six people on the planet were able to pronounce 'Bedrijventerrein,' partly because he was an idiot but predominantly because he had neglected to install a front door to his dairy leaving customers to shin up the wall and in via the back window.

On the 17th November 1939 Frank Anne went on the run from the local Jewish community after mistaking a Mrs Hilda Van Goldstein of 74 Hoogstraaten Weg, Utrecht  for an escaped cow. He was particularly peeved by this as it had happened during his 35th birthday luncheon.